After Kaitlyn was buried, I visited her grave the next day, by myself, and found this! How cool!
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| 4 leaf clover and Kaitlyn's grave site in the background |
I ended up framing the clover and it sits right next to Kaitlyn's photo on my bedside table.
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| Doesn't the straw look like a heart around Kaitlyn and her flowers? |
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A week later, Chip and I went again to the cemetery and funeral home to design Kaitlyn's burial marker. After our meeting, we took a stroll across to the cemetery to visit our sweet girl. I talked to Kaitlyn and told her that I love her and miss her but am happy that she is free from her body now and to not worry about us. I then walked over to Baby Land (which still had the pretty pink bows on the gate posts!) and looked down and found this! This clover was much bigger than the first one. It definitely is a special place. Perfect for Kaitlyn.
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| 2nd 4-leaf clover! |
It has been a difficult transition for all of us. Chip went back to work on Monday and is very busy and now I am trying to adapt to our new life without Kaitlyn. For many months, I didn't leave the house, let alone the room because I was so afraid of what might happen to Kaitlyn. Now I can go anywhere and take care of Cole whenever I want and it makes me feel a little sick because she's gone and not here anymore. You would think it would be easy with only 1 child, but it's been really difficult trying to become a "normal" family again.
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| Love the dogwoods and there are even wind chimes over by the trees. Simply perfect. |
I plan on continuing this blog. I'm NOT going to stop writing so please keep checking in and subscribe to the automatic email. I may not write as often but I will still be going strong to help others and keep Kaitlyn's voice alive.
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| Really pretty and peaceful! There is an arbor at the top of the hill. |
I do plan on writing a book about NPA with the help of NPA experts, like Dr. Melissa Wasserstein, about the medical facts of NPA and helping families and healthcare professionals understand more thoroughly what this disease is and does to the body. The second large component of the book is "what to expect" and "what happened". Stories and lessons learned from parents who have had or have a child with NPA. I don't mean to not include the other types of NP. Hopefully one day, I will be able to work on the other types too. NPA is so rare that these families really need something useful and practical to help them understand better and not feel so alone.
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| Can you find the butterflies? |
Thank you to everyone who has sent us flowers, cards, donations, emails, food, etc. It has meant so much to us! I apologize in advance if I don't respond back to emails as quickly. Things are kinda hectic around here trying to get used to everything and having over 1,000 unread emails is pretty daunting, but in a good way because I know that Kaitlyn touched so many people's hearts!
Please continue to pray for our other NPA friends, Wylder, Riley, Trek and Jacob. Here are their blogs:
Wylder James (Type A)
Riley Robbins (Type A)
Jacob Brooks (Type A/B)
Trek Atlas (Type A)
I still am thinking of you and your wonderful family. You are a remarkable person and a fabulous mother. You have a special angel watching over you now who is in a better place with no pain. I feel blessed to have read your blog about your family and will look forward to your entries at how your family is doing. May God bless you all and have a wonderful Easter holiday.
ReplyDeleteHe has Risen!
I find myself thinking about Kaitlyn and your family several times a day. Everytime I start to get frustrated with my kids I just start thinking about how you never know what can happen in the blink of a eye. I used to "sweat the small stuff" but lately I just think is it really worth it? I hug and kiss my kids as much as I can and try to be a better person altogether! All because your daughter and family have had such an impact on my life and views of life. I continue to pray for you family as you try to adjust and grieve. Thank you for sharing your families journey and changing my life.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the update! Love you guys and praying that the new normal takes it's place. Kaitlyn is all around us, and I love knowing that! She's SO awesome, and I am glad she's watching over us. Look forward to many more posts from you..
ReplyDeleteThe straw does look like a heart. I thought it was intentional until I read the caption. It's wonderful that Kaitlyn is sending you messages of love!
ReplyDeleteI still pray and think of you often. especially now that my little one is in NICU and they are questioning her defects and what may have caused them, whether or not it is fatal as we wait for testing to cone back. I think of your strength and courage and faith and try to not be angry at god for giving my baby this little body with so many issues. I think of you and pray for her. I hope that I can be as strong as you are no mater what happens to my baby.
ReplyDeletePrayers for healing, understanding, and love to you and yours, Mamarama! God bless you and your little one...
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I, like thousands of others I'm sure, think about your angel everyday. She has forever made a mark on my heart, and I am a better person because of it. I'm glad to hear you will continue to blog. You, and your family are so inspiring. You are such a strong person, even at your weakest moments. What you have done, and continue to do, is touch peoples hearts. Thank You!
ReplyDeletePrayers do not cease. Thinking of you and your family so often. Kaitlyn continues to touch lives, as do all of you. Peace to you.
ReplyDeleteI still think about you every day and continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteDear friend, I am amazed by Kaitlyn You,Chip, , and Cole.The impact that all of you have made in my life, I am eternally grateful!Thank you for welcoming me into your family as one of your own! I miss Kaitlyn alot, but know that she is with our Father!When you write your book, please save one for me.I am telling of Kaitlyn's journey.You are strength as I have never known! May our Lord grant you love, peace and many blessings. With all my love.
ReplyDeleteDeanna, You and your family are simply amazing. There is not a day (usually not even an hour) that goes by that I don't think of you and sweet Kaitlyn. Thank you so much for continuing to write - I will always be checking and looking for updates. I will also continue to keep you in my prayers. Hopefully each day will get a little bit easier as you adjust to your new "normal". It doesn't mean that Kaitlyn is forgotten, just that she is helping you heal in her own angel way.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first saw the picture of you holding the first 4 leaf clover the thing I saw was it looked like a butterfly. Double love.
ReplyDeleteI noticed that too!! I thought Kaitlyn's little way of thank you for the butterflies!! :))
DeleteI still think about your family everyday and pray for you all as you go through this tough transition in your life. May God continue to bless your family and give you peace, comfort, and strength as you continue to transition. Good luck on the book you are writing I'm sure it will touch many lives just as your blog has.
ReplyDeleteStacey
Kaitlyn will always be there, and will show you in her own way. Only you will know when you are ready to write the book - NPA is the least understood type, the others have made significant progress. You will always be a part of the NPD family.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you are still continuing your blog! Continuing to lift y'all up in prayer as you navigate this new part of life.
ReplyDeleteMany blessings and Happy Easter!!
Aimee
Forgot to mention that I see what I feel are signs of Kaitlyn all around, as well...days that are supposed to be rainy but end up sunny and warm...I know she's here, there, and everywhere! She's watching over and looking out for all of us! Love you, Kaitlyn!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate you sharing your life and Kaitlyn's story. she has touched so many lives and mine being one of them. I look forward into see cole grow up and that book that your going to work on. Thanks for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteKeller, Tx
Thank you so much for updating. I think of you and Kaitlyn often--many, many times a day. I love your little angle. My three year old daughter can not speak but signs. She sees me reading your blog and does the sign for hair bow, so that is our sign for Kaitlyn--the sign for hair bow. How special is it that God keeps spreading his love through Kaitlyn. I look forward to reading all of your future updates and your book. Kaitlyn was and still is such a gift to the world. Thank you so much for sharing her with us.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are going to continue the blog. Love the little signs from heaven :) - Jeanette nh
ReplyDeletestill thinking of you all and sending lots of love
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your story and your beautiful girl with the world.
ReplyDeleteAs you adjust to your new life, please know that so many of us are lifting you up and surrounding you with love - now and always. You've touched my life and truly helped me become a better mother and a more present, grateful person.
Thank you so much for taking the time to keep us updated! I am truly blessed to come across this blog and your family! My 4 yr old daughter will now wear bows everyday in her hair in honor of your sweet Kaitlyn! God Bless your Family!
ReplyDeleteThank you for continuing to share your journey. I think of your family daily and continue to pray for you as you learn how to live this new normal. I truly believe in signs from our loved ones that go before us and it seems like Kaitlyn is sending you lots of them to let you know she is okay and at peace. She is an extriodinary girl in life and in heaven.
ReplyDeleteThank you for continuing to share your journey. I think of your family daily and continue to pray for you as you learn how to live this new normal. I truly believe in signs from our loved ones that go before us and it seems like Kaitlyn is sending you lots of them to let you know she is okay and at peace. She is an extriodinary girl in life and in heaven.
ReplyDeleteStill uplifting your family in prayer! Thank you for continuing to blog. The kids and I will be taking Easter flowers to their brothers grave soon and they mentioned they would like to visit Kaitlyn. I thought that was sweet of them and said we can call it our " Day of Love". When things get me down I think of all of you and your an inspiration to us all.
ReplyDeleteTHE SHERRIN FAMILY; Marshville NC
The flowers on Kaitlyn's grave remind me so much of Kaitlyn. They, too, are survivors allowing us to enjoy their beauty longer than expected...I think of you and your "new life" often. I'm glad that you will maintain this blog, for you and all that love her will forever keep her fresh in our thoughts and prayers. Kaitlyn is not gone, we just don't see her. Have a blessed Easter.
ReplyDeleteDeanna and Chip - thank you so much for continuing the blog. Kaitlyn's voice led many of us to follow Trek, Wylder, Riley and now, Jacob on their journies, too. Deanna, you are so right. This disease is so rare - there can't be much in the way of information or support for families trying to cope with it and I believe that the support garnered through these blogs does indeed bring some comfort to those remarkable families. We all need to know that we are not alone. And I am so pleased to hear that you are going forward with your book, Deanna. What an invaluable resource that will be not only to those dealing with this disease but as a tool to raise NPA awareness. Thank you again for sharing so unselfishly.
ReplyDeleteHappy Easter! He has risen and so has Kaitlyn!
ReplyDelete"When the heart grieves over what it has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left." -Sufi
ReplyDeleteThinking of your family
I continue to think of you and your familly. I hope Cole had fun finding Easter eggs. I can envision Kaitlyn romping around in heaven with her pretty bows filling her basket as well. Praying for you peace and well-being. Extra blessings to you during this Easter and always.
ReplyDeleteWhat a testament of faith and strength you both have been. I'm a neighbor and it touches my heart when I see you or Chip outside trying to live your lives. It brings joy to my heart seeing you two living life as Kaitlyn would've wanted. Sweet Kaitlyn is often in my thoughts as well as handsome Cole. You both have done and continue to do an amazing job. You continue to be an inspiration. God bless you all.
ReplyDeleteEveryday I check your blog and so amazed how strong you are. The other day I had a butterfy land on my hand and I thought about your angel. I am very excited to hear about your book. I continue to pray for healing for your family as you start a new chapter.
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