Dreams and Clovers

This morning I planned on waking up before Cole so that I could shower and be ready for the day by the time he woke up.

I set my alarm... my alarm went off... I turned the alarm off (you can see where this is going)... then stayed in bed.

It has been a very difficult week for me. Many pieces of my life have not been going as well as I had hoped and basically it was all turning into one big snowball of frustration and negativity. I decided to close my eyes and pray that today would be a better day than yesterday.

By the way, closing your eyes after turning your alarm off in the morning is never a good idea, even if you are praying.  ;-)

"Sorry God, but I fell asleep!"

For 5 months, my heart has been hurting and missing Kaitlyn. I have prayed and asked for her to give me signs and she has! I have a journal with eleven 4 leaf clovers in it, one that is framed and one in an angel wish box... a total of 13. The odd part is that if I look for 4 leaf clovers, I never find them. I find them only when I am not looking for them and I just randomly notice them.

So, back to this morning. I obviously fell back to sleep. It was the best thing that could have happened. I dreamt of Kaitlyn. I have waited and waited for so long to dream of her. Okay, so really only 5 months, but to me it feels like eternity. I have been frustrated that I haven't seen her but I know that today was the most perfect day to dream of her. God's timing IS perfect. We just don't understand it until it happens. I am so blessed and thankful for the gift of seeing her and hearing her voice.

So here is the dream:

I walked into a large bedroom (one I've never seen before) and Kaitlyn was waking up and sat up in her bed. She had no signs of NPA and she was as beautiful as ever, with her curly hair, big blue eyes and sweet little smile. There was a woman in the room, about the same age as I am, but with dark brown hair in a ponytail. She looked at me with concern, as if she were watching over Kaitlyn and I said to her, "It's okay. I'm her mother." The woman didn't say anything but nodded her head and went about her business in the room.

There were clothes and dresses hanging in dark wooden closets across the entire right side of the room where the woman was. There were clothes picked out for Kaitlyn already but I said to Kaitlyn. "We need to find you something more girly!" She smiled and giggled and I picked out an outfit for her. I got her dressed and Kaitlyn then started saying... "Baby!... baby!... baby!"

I then woke up and Cole was awake and I could hear him on the monitor. I think she was telling me that her baby brother was awake. :)

It was a very short dream but I can remember the details so clearly. Just dreaming about her has made me feel so happy and blessed. I may have been upset that I didn't get to dream about her in the past but today WAS the perfect day for it. I cried tears of joy and it has made all of those things that have snowballed seem so insignificant. God knew what He was doing and I am so thankful for it.