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Sunday, October 7, 2012

New Normal?

For the past 6 months, I have been trying to figure out what the new normal is. When Kaitlyn was here, our new "normal" changed all the time as she changed. I was mom/nurse/advocate every second of the day. Now... there is no normal.

A friend shared this with me. Doesn't it look just like Kaitlyn?! I love it!

I haven't written much since Kaitlyn died because I just didn't know what to say and still feel that way sometimes. It has been nothing like I expected it to be. I always imagined that I would be so overwhelmed with grief and heartache that I would be paralyzed.

Instead, I found myself lost in who I was supposed to be. An identity crisis of sorts. There were days I felt empty and days I felt fine. I realized that I had been grieving ever since we got Kaitlyn's diagnosis. I grieved every single day as I watched her lose her abilities and grieved knowing that there wasn't a cure.

Words of encouragement from a friend










What keeps me going now is all of you. Friends, family, neighbors and others across the world who remind me of how Kaitlyn touched their lives. Knowing that she is still making a difference makes me so grateful and blessed. Thank you for the messages you continue to send me.

My current desktop background















As I continue to figure out my new normal, I pray that God will direct my path and surround me with people like all of you who have been so supportive. I will never be able to thank all of you enough. 

8 comments:

  1. No thanks needed! You and your angel changed my life and the way I look at the people in it. My thanks goes to you and sweet baby Kaitlyn for making me apprieicate all I have.

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  2. Continuing to send all of you prayers of comfort and peace and guidance. Your life was never "normal" and never will be.

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  3. It is good to 'hear' from you. Whenever I scroll through my Google Reader I always wonder if there will be a post. Blessings and peace to you as you continue on this uncertain journey.

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    1. And yes, that angel looks very much like Kaitlyn. :)

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  4. the picture does look just like her, it gave me chill bumps. I am so sorry, we all miss your sweet baby too. I think of you often and send you my love. xoxo ,Chelsea

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  5. Kaitlyn certainly did touch tons of lives and continues to touch them daily. I think of her often and keep praying for you daily. She is an amazing example of strength and so are you! God bless you, Deanna!

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  6. Still thinking of Kaitlyn and the family everyday! We will continue to pray.

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